Measuring up

We were waiting for some treats to be doled out this morning in return for a bit of paw waving (we try to humour the Madwoman if we think we might profit from it) when we caught sight of the packet label. 'Treats for Chubby Dogs' it said.
What a nerve! I mean, do we look chubby? We are fit and streamlined: Archie doesn't even have any spare fur, let alone spare fat.
It's Archie's birthday tomorrow, and there had better be something a bit better on offer than low calorie snacks. Feel free to drop in and find out - the Madwoman says you can give us all the virtual treats you want, as they're low-fat and calorie free. Personally, since she thinks they are so wonderful, we'd prefer it if you gave them to her (she needs them more than us anyway) and if you can't actually call in with anything more substantial and tasty,then just pop it in the post. We'll be waiting hungrily by the letterbox.