Sunday, 21 December 2014

After our walk ...

We do lots of pees and usually have a poo too when we go out for our morning walk.
But the first thing we do when we get home is to
ask the Madwoman to let us out in the garden
so we can have another wee.

It drives her nuts.
Although we can't quite believe she actually
dashed out after us to take pictures ...

Saturday, 13 December 2014

A Day in the Life of ...

People are sometimes rude enough to ask what we do all day.
We usually tell them to go look at the lilies. 
Like them we toil not, nor do we spin - well, you just try it with paws. Or petals.
But we do manage to be busy.
Here's what we did on just one action-packed day last week.
Awoken at some ungodly hour by The Madwoman
She has no concept of a lazy morning ...

Off to Chiltern Open Air Museum.
A shipwreck on the village pond.
No sign of any icebergs although it was jolly cold.
A dummy (complete with a willy) was our next clue
that something was going on.
Apparently a grownup version of Horrible Histories
was being filmed.
Or possibly a second series of  Inside Number 9.
We think it's about time they remade The Wippitt of the Baskervilles.
Or maybe the Three Wippiteers.

Ah, the catering van.
Although as usual nobody offered us any sossidges even though we could
smell them cooking.

Film crew spotted.
Like the Madwoman, they don't appear to be very competent with a camera

and kept pointing it in the wrong direction.
Watched some actors.
They appeared to have lost the use of their legs when they weren't
actually doing any actoring and had to be driven around everywhere
in cars.  We remember meeting the Horrible History cast back when they were
filming their first series. They were able to walk in those days and were called actors
instead of arteests. Poor darlinks, we did feel sorry for them.
Apparently this was a re-enactment of the Brrrr War.
And it was very brrrr too, so we didn't hang around for long.
Could have done with a lift in one of the arteest's cars,
but no offers were forthcoming.
Went home.
Had a committee meeting about what to do next.
A vote was unanimously carried in favour of catching up on a few zeds ...
More? You want to know more?
Talk to the paw, I'm busy ...

Sunday, 7 December 2014

In which Two wise wippitts and a Madwoman follow a star

A walk with a seasonal feel at Chiltern Open Air Museum yesterday.
They were having a Nativity themed afternoon. 
So we suppose that means we went a bit native.
We arrived early to avoid the crowds and found this star.

So we followed it, as you do.
The Madwoman started humming "We three Kings of Orient are," although
we pointed out that actually we were two wippitts and a Madwoman.
Unfortunately this observation failed to shut her up and instead she just changed the words from Three Kings to Two Wippitts instead.

Our first stop was Jerusalem.
Us wippitts get around you know.
It may look like the village green to you, but the sign was unmistakeable.
As there is a place called Egypt just a few miles away from here, our credulity wasn't stretched too much.
Then we went on to Bethlehem.
The Madwoman said that she visited 
Bethlehem in Wales once and it was just as cold and wet.

Definitely sleeps two wippitts
We checked out the accommodation at the stable: plenty of straw and a cosy looking crib.
But no five star Michelin catering and so we went home. 
Because for wippitts, that's what Christmas is all about: roast turkey.
Evicted from the stable.
We would have invited them home
with us, but there was no spare room on the beanbag ...

Monday, 1 December 2014

Christmas cheer

We've had another couple of busy days.
We'd no sooner recovered from the trauma of the triennial bathday
when The Madwoman whisked us off to have our annual back
maintenance with McTimoney practitioner Caroline Hicks.
Unlike the bath experience, it was quite pleasant.
And then when we arrived at Chiltern Open Air Museum
we found it all looking rather festive.
We admired our first Christmas tree this year.

We declined the Madwoman's request to have a quick snog under the mistletoe.
We do have our reputations to think of. 

Then we said hallo to Mimi Harker, seen here giving Museum director Sue the
hard sell. 
We liked Mimi, who as a wippitt-lover has impeccable taste in dogs ...
she sells Mimi's-Marvellous-Mixers if you want to check out her FB page.

We dragged The Madwoman away before her drooling created too
big a puddle on the floor and suggested a visit with Santa.
We're only small so reckoned there would
be plenty of room for both of us to sit on his knee.
He wasn't there though ...

  It turned out that we'd started queuing too early.
We passed him being delivered by Shire horse
as we were on the way out.
Yes, that IS a horse. Those antlers didn't fool us for one minute.
Everyone knows that reindeers have red noses too.
Then we helped the Madwoman pick out a winning number from the tombola.

We hoped it might be a roast turkey
or at the very least a box of gravy bones,
but no, it was a bottle of champagne.
The Madwoman was beside herself with glee.