Nothing In Life Is Free

Good enough to eat ... well, to lick thoroughly at any rate

As Oscar Wilde once famously remarked, "I can resist everything except wippitts". Much of it is to do with the way in which we have not only mastered the art of being cute, but of turning it into an art form. The only problem with being so irresistible is that people will rush over to ooh and aah over you, without first asking if their advances will be welcome.

"Are they a bit timid?" the Madwoman is often asked. No, not a bit of it (as long as you don't all crowd round at once - we do like a bit of fresh air you know). If we seem a bit retiring it is because more often than not, admirers are empty handed. As we are constantly being told ourselves, Nothing In Life Is Free, and we are forced to sit, lie down, wave paws in the air and do all sorts of other demeaning things before the treats are doled out in a rather miserly fashion.

We really don't see why this rule should only apply to us. We think it's being species-ist. So in the interests of fairness, next time you see us, do by all means come and say hello - but only if your hands are full of treats. You want to stroke us? Fine. But remember - Nothing In Life Is Free and we will expect to be paid. Handsomely.